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Saturday, December 24, 2005


A few weeks ago, it was my birthday. I'd been waiting in anticipation for some time. But when it finally arrived, disappointment crashed on me.
Let me describe my woes.
Three days before, I'd gone to the doctor's after being sick a week and learned my illness was pneumonia. Because of this, I had to skip my classes. By Sunday, I was mostly recovered, although still coughing.
Second, my best friend and sister resided 2000 miles away at college for the next two weeks. This wasn't too terrible, as I did get to see her over Thanksgiving.
Surprisingly, several members of my family got through the entire day without acknowledging my birthday. I don't care so much about presents, but I at least wanted them to wish me a "Happy birthday, Hannah." I especially wished my mom would say those three words [after being reminded to by A. she did], but she was busy preparing for my party to take place after church.
Lastly, eighty percent of the people I'd invited to the party didn't come. I was really hoping to spend some time with them. Then two of my little brother's friends showed up as we were eating cake. He had as many friends to my party as I did. That's right, two friends at my birthday party and one had to leave early.
Now, my point in telling this is not so much as to make you feel sorry for me, but because I don't want to be guilty of neglecting Jesus on the day we celebrate His birth.
What I wanted most on my birthday was to be recognized as someone of significance. I wanted people to talk to me and spend time with me.
Surely our Great King deserves to have time spent with Him more than I deserve it.
In A Place of Quiet Rest, Nancy Leigh DeMoss writes, "...the objective is to cultivate an intimate relationship between you and God. He longs for such a relationship with you, and He is eager to spend that time with you...have you ever stopped to realize that He wants to see your face and hear your voice?"
The same way that I wanted to spend time with my friends on my birthday, Jesus wants to spend time with His friends. "The God of the universe loves you, and He created you to be His friend." (A Place of Quiet Rest, by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.)

Also, although I do appreciate all of the work that my mom did towards my party, what I most wanted was for her to tell me Happy birthday and that she loved me. Ms. DeMoss states, "It is not about all the things we do for God--it's about being loved by Him, loving Him in return, and walking in intimate union and communion with Him." The only way to walk in that union and communion is by spending time with Him.
Keep Christ in Christmas.

Monday, December 05, 2005

a lesson from cummings

recently i read a poem by e. e. cummings. according to my literature book, edward estlin cummings "abandoned the rules of grammar and punctuation in an attempt to write a new kind of poetry." i didn't really understand the entire poem, but some of the form and style were appealing.
one thing that stood out to me was his usage of capitalization. the whole poem was lowercase (including the title and author's name) except for words referring to God.
although it may only have been for style or to break the rules of capitalization that e. e. cummings wrote in lowercase, i'm impressed by the fact he didn't even capitalize his own signature. it shows great humility of himself and respect to God.
our Creator is the only being who deserves to be capitalized.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Reason To Be Sick

"How dreadfully old I am getting! Sixteen! Well, I don't see as I can help it." I can now truthfully quote the first line from Stepping Heavenward.
For the past week and a half I've had a cough. Mostly I've been laying on the couch. Then last Thursday my mom took me to the doctor and we found out I had pneumonia. After taking a lot of gross medicine, I am doing quite well.
Two good things seem to have come out of my pneumonia:
I believe that being sick for so long has given me a greater compassion on those who are ill. I was complaining after just several days, but I know people who've been sick for months and even years.
It's also comforting to think about how Jesus suffered for me, when I'm suffering. Reminding myself of this is awesome fact makes my slight suffering a joy. What suffering I'm having is nothing compared to His.
I can join the Green Lady from Perelandra in saying that I am so much older than I was before! [or perhaps the fact that it's my birthday adds something to that.]
'I am sixteen going on seventeen...'